Contessa ChiChi's Speech at Boastmaster Kennel Klub

[We join Contessa ChiChi as she wraps up her speech at the Boastmaster Kennel Klub..]

..thees is why we must act, and act NOW my dear Dams and Sires! I strongly urge your support on behalf of my Rafa, and for the world at-large, of course! We can not simply dismiss what happened to Samson's strength when that she-dog cut off hees hair! Samson could not keep the pillars up in thees temple to save the people! He lost his strength when hees hair was cut off while he slept!!!

So! Make that call! Call Rafa's sponsors. Tell them that Contessa ChiChi has discovered why her dahlink Rafa is losing some matches. Insist they consider that when Rafa gave up hees own sleeveless tees and pirate pants that's when Rafa's troubles began!!! So you see? Rafa's fans should start voicing their solidarity with a catchy little slogan like,.. like.. these: TennisMasters cut off Rafa's Samson hair! No mo' Samson hair cuts!! Give Rafa his clothes back!! Give back Rafa's hair!! Don't make Rafa wear a fake hair wig!! [crowd roars in unison: Give Rafa his clothes back!! Bring Rafa back wearing sleeveless tees! Bring back the pirate pants!! Rah! Rah!]

You GO, guys! Sing it! Ring it! Don't wing it! [clap! clap! clap! Crowd roars!] Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone! ! Thanks for having me!! [encore roars up from the crowd - but Contessa ChiChi has left the room!]

Later..

Wait a minute.. what's wrong with Contessa ChiChi? Rafa never wore a fake hair wig in his life!

O, that naughty boy, Agassi!

Hola! Contessa ChiChi ees back from spanking Andre! Ee's such a cute nincompoop, tho ..but ee's a bad, bad boy. Bad, Aggi! .. baaaad! *spank* Take that! *spank* Take thees! And, thees!! *spank* *spank* But, come on, amigos. Eet's been eons since he was bad! Let bygones be bygones. Thees Andre do so much for so many people and chilldrun now - so I went easy on'm! Now back off on thees Agassi thing! OK!