Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Deranged Soviet forces Contessa ChiChi to surface over Novak Djokovic win!!


Amigos!  What a pickle thees Australian Open win by Novak Djokovic has put me in!  ('Specially since I haven't written an iota about Raffie since middle of last year!)  I'm surfacing today from undercover assignment for the courtesy of sharing in the elation that my good friend Deranged Soviet is obviously feeling over Djokovic's second Australian Open win! As many of you know, Deranged Soviet ees an ardent supporter and admirer of Djokovic.  Now I must say, as disappointed as I was that my Raffie could not go on to win thees event because of hees injury, Djokovic put on a stellar show of hees prowess, confidence and enviable six-pack. And, hees tennis-playing was spectacular, too, si?  I should add, the only distraction being thees loud roars, audible sighs, limbs akimbo, and the possible dreaded show of lachrymal extrusion.  But I'll leave it to the British press to cover Andy Murray.

Now, eet's true I've been as busy as a 'possum rounding up her kids these past months, some details of which I am not at liberty to speak about here, but suffice to say, for a momento, every body and I do mean every bod-y has cornered or treed me over this necessary hiatus - insinuating - yes - insinuating that me & Ruffie broke up last summer over some stoo-pid swimsuit that he hates!!   THIS IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE!!!  I will never be seen in thees fishwear again, contrary to thees rumor running rampant in the tennis world.  Ay-yi-yi!

Wearing thees one has dogged me ever since I put eet on.  The first time Ruffie saw me in it we were at the beach. I was covered up in my beautiful shag rug robe.  When it came time to join Ruffie and the fishes in the ocean, I approached Ruffie in my best fashion runway stunner-look saunter, with my paws clenching thees sides folded across the front of me and when I came within a few feet of heem, I flung open my robe a la Demi Moore to show him my beautiful fishwear with matching goggles...  and..  and... thees is so difficult for me, si?.. when a look of horror came over Rafa's face..  like he was looking at an old geezer throwing his coat wide open to expose himself..  and.. (gasp).. I just knew it then - he hated my swimsuit  - with a passion!!  Like tennis passion!  I ran back to our blanket confused, hurt and burnt, tripped over thees lounge chair - and proceeded to bury, si bury, my head in the sand, literally.  Which totally smudged my mascara and matted my beautiful fur coat.  So that didn't last longer than a minute.  Ruffie, as always, was a perfect gentleman (after he composed himself). He put his arm around me, then told me he would still love me even if I wore a peeled-back sardine can for a bathing suit. See?  Thees is why I adore Rafa!  He loves me for who I am. I am a fur ball.  And an adorable one at that!  I can't change what I am.  I swore then, and I'll swear now,  I'll never ever ever wear that fishwear again.  And I mean it!  So, hopefully now I've put thees 'they broke up! they broke up!' rumors to rest..

..and now I'm off to drink a toast with my friend, Deranged Soviet, and other tennis friends who are celebrating Novak's Aussie win!  I think Novak's most dedicated admirer has to be Deranged Soviet.  Not only does Deranged Soviet love heem as a baller, but thinks he's hot, too!

I feel a better player now
because physically I'm stronger,
I'm faster and mentally I'm
more motivated.
--Novak Djokovic
 Courtesy of Yahoo Images

Just sayin'