Saturday, January 12, 2008


DAMN. just DAMN. What about Packer Brett Favre's underhand flip to Donald Lee while nearly being sacked - scrambling out of the pocket away from Seahawk defensive tackle Brandon Mebane - almost hitting the turf, for an 11-yard gain! Huh? HUH! just freakin'farout DAMN. This play of the game will be a memorable moment for NFL highlights for years! Just damn too bad Favre's such a clean-cut, straight-up, upright pillar of NFL community cuz I sure wouldn't mind the opportunity to tail him...

Somebody grab me a beer from the frig, willya...?

Hillary Clinton dog toy

Yah, you read that right. Geezes, like I'm gonna walk around all day with a muzzled Hillary Clinton dog toy ( by Segway Collection) tucked under my arm. Wouldn't that make for a well-deserved hee-haw from the Peanut Gallery as I hang around The BRAD Blog for up-to-the-minute coverage on Hill's miraculous *cough* "Come Back". I guess her cry-baby press conference made an extraordinary number of people suddenly go ga-ga over her, trance-like, enough to change their votin' minds. I was kinda hoping she'd ride out of town into the sunset on a segway and end up going around in circles screaming, "I can't stop this effing vacuum cleaner! Stop this thing! Stop this effing lawn mower! I want to get off! AAAHHHHHH!"

As it stands now, people are not too happy about Diebold's sole-control of more than 75% of the state's ballots. *cough* *cough* Not that anyone's thinking some kind of shenanigans are going on by any of the nincompoops involved. yip yip

(Someone throw that poor girl a bone..?)

Friday, January 4, 2008

Musta woke up drunk...blech

Remember it well, actually. That first day. Woke up groping in the dark. Flat on my belly. Couldn't open my eyes. So crawl it was going to be. Crawled some more. OMG this feels bad. Feel like barfing. Laid there, eyes shut, wobbly, not wanting to move. Somehow reversed direction and one huge effort opened my eyes. Have they been shut for days? Head in dizzy swirl I look up, stared straight ahead ...ACKKKKK!.... back to fetal position! Took me long to recover. My eyes opened again see this huge room in corner. Should have been walls, there were bars. Oh, for dog's sake! A CAGE!! Heard loud whup! come up behind like a freight train. A hand on my head. Squeezing like an orange squeezer. Grind. Grind. Grind. Muffled shrieks.. of..of JOY!?! A rubber thing tossed in my direction. Oh dear Lassie what's happening to me?!

Grabbed up tossed on bed. What NOW?! Menage a trois?! O freakin' no! But wait. They want to stroke me. Okay. okay. Don't hurt me. Relax. Breath. Give in to the good. Ahhh, that's good. That's real good. Koochie, koochi, koo! Slobber. Slobber.

Then he slipped me the tongue.

Next day there was a rubber thing on the floor. Yeah.. a rubber...

That's when I found out I was a dog.

Don't tell anybody, but...

Bark, bark, bark.

You: Really?!
What the hey is that supposed to mean?!

Me: What I said was:

This is how we see people..(muffle..muffle)..

I'd like to get permission from and give credit to the photographer who took this extraordinary photo, but until such time I'd like to lay claim to its presence here, under the FAIR USE ACT in accordance to Title 17, U.S.C. Section 107.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

I'm Contessa ChiChi and all my big mouth are belong to

I'm Contessa ChiChi and I don't know when to keep my mouth shut. I've been this way all my life. "Independencia" would be my middle name if I had anything to say about it. My roommates (they wouldn't like me calling them that) call me Tess; that's a nickname to you. I may look small and defenseless, but, "oh poor poor me, si?" isn't my mantra. No, it's more like I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR! Except when you give me something to eat, then I sort of gurgle in my throat while taking the treat from your hand. But I swear it's really a *snort* cuz I sashays away looking back over my shoulder. Sooo, you tell me, hunh? There's no stopping me when I have something on my mind. You can tell when there's mental aerobic activity about to unleash. I stand there all haughty like with my paws on my hips. I'll empty my mind out on you in no uncertain terms. You just have to laugh when you hear what I have to say - *BARK* *BARK* *BARK* (pause) *BARK* (catch breath) *B-A-R-K* *BARK* .....||.....|\.... bark. (See what I mean!? chuckle)

You gotta go along with the program..

I'm just a sassy, savy, upbeat ball of dynamic dog-goof! I've noticed over the years that if you tick off the old pharts folks, it might not go over very big. First, they tell you to knock it off! Piss'm off again? Next thing you know, they break your neck and stuff a tennis ball in your mouth. 'Nuff said?