Musta woke up drunk...blech

Remember it well, actually. That first day. Woke up groping in the dark. Flat on my belly. Couldn't open my eyes. So crawl it was going to be. Crawled some more. OMG this feels bad. Feel like barfing. Laid there, eyes shut, wobbly, not wanting to move. Somehow reversed direction and one huge effort opened my eyes. Have they been shut for days? Head in dizzy swirl I look up, stared straight ahead ...ACKKKKK!.... back to fetal position! Took me long to recover. My eyes opened again see this huge room in corner. Should have been walls, there were bars. Oh, for dog's sake! A CAGE!! Heard loud whup! come up behind like a freight train. A hand on my head. Squeezing like an orange squeezer. Grind. Grind. Grind. Muffled shrieks.. of..of JOY!?! A rubber thing tossed in my direction. Oh dear Lassie what's happening to me?!

Grabbed up tossed on bed. What NOW?! Menage a trois?! O freakin' no! But wait. They want to stroke me. Okay. okay. Don't hurt me. Relax. Breath. Give in to the good. Ahhh, that's good. That's real good. Koochie, koochi, koo! Slobber. Slobber.

Then he slipped me the tongue.



Next day there was a rubber thing on the floor. Yeah.. a rubber...
bone.

That's when I found out I was a dog.