Thursday, December 18, 2008

You Won't Believe What Happened to MI..!!!

O, the trauma! O, the humilitation! The hor-rors! O, that dirty, dirty box! Bwaaaaaaarrr! OMG! My friends. My furfriends. My poor, poor, bruised pysche! Thank gawd for Trixie. Trixie.. Trixie.. my good and faithful *gasp* Trixie! I'm in your debt. (I will find a way to pay it.. believe me. The thought of you holding anything over me,, is, well,, *retch*) Okay. Okay! You want to know what happened. (omg,, the trauma,,) Halloween. It happened on Halloween night,, walking back to my digs. I was snatched by the Animal Catcher *ack* and slammed into a box into the back of a van!
Photo by PD Cagliastro on Flickr I couldn't breath! I couldn't think! I couldn't move! I could pee tho,, and did. Right there in the box,, in the corner,, I thought I'd get that over with before the black electric cord interroga.. treatment.
I don't know how long I was in that frickin dern box before I was thrown into th.. th.. that cage. I was so inconsolable because the cage was dirty - and it smelled, too. I'm sure it's an old technique to make you puke so they can blame that on you, too! Thus, necessitating another round of beatings.. (/sarcasm)
I was blindfolded and moved to another facility. I was so,, so scared. Trembling, too!
I don't know how long I was imprisoned in this dreadful hellhole before Trixie found out who had snatched me and where they threw me into the brig. She got a band of brothers (BOB) together to bust me out! Kewl. They were cute, too.
I felt like a fool when Trixie told me I had to put on a stupid camouflage outfit because my BOB was coming in on an Onassis barge. They were taking advantage *rolling eyes* of the waterway running through the dogpound hellhole I was hostage to *bwarrr*
All this time nobody knew where I was: not my family, not my friends, and especially, not my Ruffie! I missed his matches and he missed my adoration - I'm positive of this!
What!?! You don't believe me?!?


Eric S. said...

OMG, You have to watch out for them thar dog catchers. Next time you find yourself in that kind of a bind, just yell as CHIHUATUDE as loud as you can. We will round up the Wonder Chi's, and send them your way.

Contessa ChiChi said...

O, thank you, thank you, kind, dear Mr. Eric S for letting me know about the Wonder Chi's (are they like the BOBs [band of brothers] or a better brand of Cheez Whiz? inquiring minds, you know..?) and bless you for your support of my brothers and sisters of Chi! \o/