Contessa ChiChi's Speech at Boastmaster Kennel Klub

[We join Contessa ChiChi as she wraps up her speech at the Boastmaster Kennel Klub..]

..thees is why we must act, and act NOW my dear Dams and Sires! I strongly urge your support on behalf of my Rafa, and for the world at-large, of course! We can not simply dismiss what happened to Samson's strength when that she-dog cut off hees hair! Samson could not keep the pillars up in thees temple to save the people! He lost his strength when hees hair was cut off while he slept!!!

So! Make that call! Call Rafa's sponsors. Tell them that Contessa ChiChi has discovered why her dahlink Rafa is losing some matches. Insist they consider that when Rafa gave up hees own sleeveless tees and pirate pants that's when Rafa's troubles began!!! So you see? Rafa's fans should start voicing their solidarity with a catchy little slogan like,.. like.. these: TennisMasters cut off Rafa's Samson hair! No mo' Samson hair cuts!! Give Rafa his clothes back!! Give back Rafa's hair!! Don't make Rafa wear a fake hair wig!! [crowd roars in unison: Give Rafa his clothes back!! Bring Rafa back wearing sleeveless tees! Bring back the pirate pants!! Rah! Rah!]

You GO, guys! Sing it! Ring it! Don't wing it! [clap! clap! clap! Crowd roars!] Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone! ! Thanks for having me!! [encore roars up from the crowd - but Contessa ChiChi has left the room!]

Later..

Wait a minute.. what's wrong with Contessa ChiChi? Rafa never wore a fake hair wig in his life!

O, that naughty boy, Agassi!

Hola! Contessa ChiChi ees back from spanking Andre! Ee's such a cute nincompoop, tho ..but ee's a bad, bad boy. Bad, Aggi! .. baaaad! *spank* Take that! *spank* Take thees! And, thees!! *spank* *spank* But, come on, amigos. Eet's been eons since he was bad! Let bygones be bygones. Thees Andre do so much for so many people and chilldrun now - so I went easy on'm! Now back off on thees Agassi thing! OK!

SCREEEECH!!!!!

I JUST HEARD ABOUT AG!!!

Rafa Nadal defeated by Marin Cilic in semi-final

Ai-yi-yi! Hola! Amigos, Raffie's match with Cilic in thees semi-final didn't go too well for Rafa; he got run over by thees Cilic-train in an hour and some. Rafa jumped hees rails on the 6-1 6-3 line. Vaca santa! And just so you know - Contessa ChiChi was no where near Rafa during thees match! So don' blame me! I'm not bringing heem bad luck. Maybe later, but not now, ees good? I theenk Rafa is still trying to find hees game after being slowed down by his knee and tummy injuries. He has such a strong competitive nature and doesn't like to be away from thees matches for too long. Now I have to ask you, does Rafa seem cranky to you on court? I hear some commenters say Rafa (and Andy Roddick, too) is complaining about the length and pace of the ATP season and suggest that ballers need an off-season to recharge their batteries, wouldn't you think?. What's wrong weeth that? I think they have a point. And hey you! Rafa doesn't make any excuses for losing thees match. In fact, he said of Cilic:

"Cilic is good, is young and has a very good serve but if you are losing 6-1 6-3 there are a lot of things you are doing wrong - mentally I probably wasn't there*."

Rafa is not going to let thees loss get in his head. No, he is going to go forward and play hees best and put hees losses behind him. Rafa is quite mature and centered for hees age and thees lost matches will not do a number on him. He will be back as Numero Uno very soon. His injuries are a product of the past. So, get over eet and stop needling my Rafa or I will have to get up into your face. And,trust me, you don't want Contessa ChiChi to lose her cool. *Rafa must stop thinking about me during matches, no?

Contessa ChiChi let go as Rafa air coach.. ;>

Well. Eet's been decided thees Contessa ChiChi will no longer be coaching Rafa. Harumph. Some Meathead ees blaming me for Rafa's string of eenjuries?!? *smash* ApPARENTly, someone ees jealous! What else can eet be? Image by squiggledoo p.s. Ruffie not too happy 'bout eet.

Rafa Nadal - defeats Monfils - onward to the quarter-finals..\o/

Image by squiggledoo Hola, mis amigos! Wasn't the match between my Rafa and Monfils a great run? Rafa looks like the champion we have come to know and love, yes? I was overjoyed with Rafa's performance; tentative at the beginning as compared to Monfils' early, energetic start, taking the first set. Then Monfils started to flag and self-destruct as Rafa became stronger and surer as the match progressed. It appears to me that Monfils is a sprinter compared to Rafa who is good for the long run! And who do you suppose Rafa's smiles were aimed at? Hmm.. ;>

Contessa ChiChi goes incognito (again!)

Hey, hey, hey! Me's been away. Ees a big secret, not at liberty to say. Hey, hey, hey, me's been away! Secret under a lid, but Rafa, ees comeback kid! Ay-Yi-Yi! Hey, hey, hey! Ole! Ole! Ole! Cuchi cuchi! That's all me's gonna say!

Rafa will start training Monday for Montreal

Si! Eet ees true! We are Rafa ees getting in shape for Montreal where my Ruffie ees the defending champion! I'm packing, already. Si! Yesterday, Rafa's sexy strong knees were examined and deemed ready for further action, so hees returning to training on Monday next. Hurrah! He's been itching to go rounds and now he geet the go-ahead for knees. I can't wait to travel again. Montreal ees great place for tennis and food and tour of architecture. Montreal ees verry grounded and centered, has an olde feeling about eet, capisce?

"The evolution of his injury is positive and the player will continue with his physiotherapy and muscular work and will resume his tennis activity in a progressive way starting next Monday July 20th, estimating his return to competition on August 8th at the Montreal event," said Angel Ruiz-Cotorro, Rafa's doctor. Rafa Nadal: "I am happy with the way the tests went and with the positive evolution of the injury as the doctors said. I am really looking forward to practicing again and to do what I like to do the most: to play tennis. The event in Montreal is important and I expect to be there fit to play. Until then I need to continue to work on my recovery and practice well."

Of course we took advantage of thees down time to take een some swim time, you asked. But you know, I have to protect myself from too much sun, and so I had to peek out a suitable bathing suit. Rafa wasn't too crazy about eet..,

..and Ruffie said eet sure beats thees other one I wore at thees beach. 'ey, a girl got to protect her most valuable assets, si?.., la cucarachas!!

Zee you again, amigos!

Nadal's Recipe for the 'Good Life'

Hi! I ees back again..back from many adventures. Yes. Here I ees after another Rafa & Contessa's Most Excellent Adventures. But first..

Everybody always askin' Ruffie the secret to his success with 30 Titles and 6 Grand Slams under his belt; in light of his totally unforeseen defeat at the French Open this year, it comes down to hees humility and mental strength. Ruffie points out that "one needs defeat to give value to your victories". I understand hees way of thinking. Contessa ChiChi alway say one has to die in order to give value to Life. If we all live forever, Life would lose it's meaning. We would take so many things for granted. Rafa ees so centered and sensible. Yes. We agree on everything. Well, mostly.. Recently we be locking horns over fashion. Really.

Rafa Nadal - 5th Monte Carlo Win!

CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE! DANCE TO THE MUSIC! Rafa has done it again, mis amigos! Now he has 5 Monte Carlo wins! And - he's also equaled Roger Federer with 14 Masters Series titles! Way to GO, Rafa! Vamos, Rafa! (Excusa para nosotros un minuto! *sonrojar* we are having a wee celebratory smooch.) I knew Rafa could and would win! Although the match with Novak Djokovic was not an easy won (making more errors than he usually does, initially, in thees opening game), but he rallies with his trademark forehand to help heem break to love in game 5 and from there he went straight out for another 4 games to take thees set! It was pretty hairy for me to watch Novak capture the 2nd set, but he didn't use his advantage to his best ability. Dear Rafa came back like a wrecking ball in the 3rd! Okay, okay! So, Contessa is committing hyperbole crime now. I make it all better on your anti-hyperbole boo-boo now, okay? To be truthful, Novak gave Rafa a run for his moneys and no one can call Novak a slouch. Hees not #3 for looks alone, you know. He has fairly hefty bag of tricks, too. Now - you boo-hoo feel better now I kiss it? All riiiiight! Whew! Now Rafa's off to Barcelona (with ChiChi, we theenk..;>) to compete for a fifth successive title win after wheech it'sa Roma for the Rome Masters! Wheeeeeeeeee!

BoBama - FDOTUS - OldFriend Amigo now Bomigo?

Heh heh, I know who ees really making lots of bones and squeaky toys off thees "rescue dog" tale - and that would be my old furfriend - Amigo's New Hope - yah - kinda korny name, but Amigo is kinda korny. I know this - cuz BoAmigo is OldFriend of Contessa ChiChi, si? Now he's a stu-nod, too, for taking on the "role" of First Dog of the United States. FDOTUS. (Name sorta fits, hunh?) Wow. Makes me wonder what's in eet for heem. Better digs? Better orts? Better ticks? Better tricks? (Upside to being neutered?) Well, Bomigo, you sold yourself out. You've made your own bed. Now lie in it. Just don't go all ape-sh*t if you get up with fleas! Dona wanna hear eet! *paws in ears* I CAN'T HEAR YOU! NoNoNoNoNO! La-la-la-la La La. NO CAN DO! NO CAN DO! BO BO BAMA - THINKS HE'S A LAMA, AND BEGS FOR HIS MANNA! LASSIE WOULDN'T DO IT! RIN TIN TIN WOULDN'T DO IT! CONTESSA CHICHI SHOULDN'T, COULDN'T, WOULDN'T! NO! NO! NO! SHE SAY - NO CAN DO! NO CAN DO! GO, MAMA! BoBama, BoBama, bo-obama, Banana-fana fo-fama, Fee-fi-mo mama, BoBama! heh heh heh! No, no, no - don't feel bahd for BO, cuz he wasn't "rescued" by nobody, according to thees article. (How come we gotta go overseas to get the truth - about anything going on here?) He was raised by a breeder in Texas and registered under hees real name Amigo NEW Hope (vs. Clinton the OLD Hope? wassupwithdat?). Also, he apparently is named after Michelle Obama's granddaddy nicknamed Diddley after blues singer Bo Diddley. Whatamimissing here? According to that, shouldn't FDOTUS be named Diddley Obama? Lastly, BO doesn't know how to swim. Not good for a Portuguese water dog, no? I wonder what TOTUS feels about this infringement on his territory, huh? On no, Mr. Bill! I see some p*ssing contests wars a-comin'! Duck!

RAFA NADAL Nominated for LAUREUS Award - For WORLD Sportsman of the Year

My one-of-a-kind sports marvel, Rafa Nadal, has been nominated for the Laureus World Sports Award for winning the French Open, Wimbledon and Olympic gold medal to become tennis Numero Uno! Camino por recorrer, Rafa! Si, glad you asked. The sport's world has its own equivalent to the film industry's Academy Awards, in the annual Laureus World Sports awards ceremony. Sports media from 112 countries make the nominations and the winners will be selected in a secret ballot by 46 supersportstars, members of the Laureus World Sports Academy, including John McEnroe, Nadia Comaneci and Jack Nicklaus. The Awards are usually presented at an annual Awards Ceremony but this year's ceremony has been scrapped because of the global financial crisis, so the winners of this year's Laureus World Sports Awards will be receiving their Awards individually at a series of presentations during May and June.

"It seemed to us, with so many people suffering, that this was the wrong time to be staging this event," Edwin Moses, chairman of the Laureus World Sports Academy, said in a statement. "This is the responsible thing to do."

Nadal goes up against the likes of :

• Usain Bolt from Jamaica, the first man to win 100m, 200m and 4x100m Olympic gold medals in world records.
• Lewis Hamilton from the UK, the youngest ever Formula One World Champion at 23 years and 300 days.
• Michael Phelps of the US, who won 8 gold medals in a single Olympiad to overtake Mark Spitz's record.
• Cristiano Ronaldo from Portugal, FIFA World Player of the Year, scored 42 goals for Manchester United.
• Valentino Rossi of Italy, who beat Giacomo Agostini's record 68 500cc wins, and won 6th senior world title.

(These names were taken off Rafa's website..:)

Andy Murray wins his first Semi on clay - will play Rafa Nadal

Andy Murray, looking good, after reaching your first semi-final on clay. Big day for Murray - wins match against Italy's Fabio Fognini 7-6 (13-11), 6-4 in morning game and then caps the day by winning the match with Nikolay Davydenko 7-6 (7-1), 6-4 late evening. Match set. Murray vs. Rafa. Tomorrow. Be there, or rawrrrrrrrr! VAMOS RAFA!

Si! Si! Contessa ChiChi hearts Susan Boyle!

I was going to tell you some things I did and saw during my short hiatus, like visiting my friend Charo, then, how I know thees White House's new furkid on the block, Bo - but, now is come down to, "Oooh, Chich, have you seen thees Susan Boyle video?!" "Contessa, you gotta hear thees!" and "Lordy! I have met my Dream girl!!" Ay-yi-yi!! All ready! Of course, I've heard thees video! Poetmeister had to run it by me for approval, dontchaknow? Heh heh.. heh.. har. Just kidding, mistress. Ahem.. what I meant to say is, yah..... she's my new role model. If she can go onstage in front of Simon Cowell (t-t-tremolo) and be as poised and centered as she was with all thees tittering from the audience, then..well, I can get my voice on, too! RAWWWWWWRRRRRR!!! Trixie says I should make sure you have seen thees supercalifragilisticexpialidocious video, too, so here eet ees. Take note tho, how come noone have style her eyebrows (with thees paintbrush,si? I bad, really really bahd. Don't try thees at home..or your mother slap you up side thees head for making fun of my eyebrows, too! -oo- Don't do eet! Instead, cultivate your heart weeth luv for inner beauty, si?)

It's official! Rafa Nadal dispatches Ljubicic 6-3, 6-3

I toldya so! I toldya so! Rafa has secured his place in semi-finals at Monte Carlo Masters!! Will it be Murray or Davydenko? I don't know! Having said that - I'm going with Andy Murray. He looks primed. Mwaaaahahahahaha, cha cha ..si? Why, you ask? Davydenko played Nalbandian earlier today and I think he's pooped out. But, we'll see, no? Live Text this match over on BBC Sport Tennis here.

Rafa Nadal hammering Ivan Ljubicic momentarily - serving for place in semi-finals

First things first! You may already know my Rafa is through to the Monte Carlo Masters quarter-finals *grin* after beating Ecuadorian Nicolas Lapentti, 6-3, 6-0; this, after the match was held over due to rain Thursday. Pero, que vida! Rafa has now secured his 24th straight victory! Hurra! Look, I know he appeared a little out of sync coming into his previous round against Argentine Juan Ignacio Chela but you saw how he returned to form towards the end of the match. That'sa my Rafie, Oooolala. But that's not what I'm yapping about now - now it's about Rafa hammering Ivan Ljubicic as I speak (type, you goon!); 6-3, 5-2! World #66, Ljubicic, just came off a win over Italian Simone Bolelli, 7-5, 7-6, under 2 hours. Baaaaa, maybe he be tired and no match for Rafa. heeeeeeeya-haha..chichichi...si? Do I see a semi-finals!! Aye-aye-aye!

I'M BACK ! I'M BACK! - Another Adventure Meets Me Head On!

Si, Si! It's really me! Contessa ChiChi is returned to the Peoples! After a hairy escape from the winter doldrums to meet up with my Rafa at his matches these past weeks. Oh, my! Win some, lose some. He takes the good with the bad. He's always up and positive about life. He learns from his loses and just strives to do better the next time. And hey! Rafa is in good form - si, si - and raring to add many wins to his credit throughout the year. Okay! Okay! So much has happened to me since I last wrote you,, remember my Bro Rascal who almost died from congestive heart failure? Well, he acts like hee's brand new now. I mean, it's kinda creepy.. really. It seems like just yesterday that I had to grab and pull Rascal away from the Pearly Gates! Now he looks great. He can pretty much do what he feels comfortable doing, like going up stairs, jumping on the furniture, playing ball, although at a much less strenuous pace than before, and jazz like that. Except - wow - is he ever p*ssed over not being able to play Frisbee anymore. It's his most favorite thing to do, for cripe sake! I was really going nutz trying to do everything that needed to be done - and jeezes! I never saw so many pills in all my life. Ay-yi-yi!! Rascal's ranged from teeny-weeny to the size of a June bug. No, I swear! He takes 7 pills twice a day hidden in slabs of roast beef and chicken chunks. I was making homemade food for him, too. Rushing him to and fro, here and there, round and round I go! It got a little crazy there for awhile.. that's why I had to get away for a while... Photo by askcorran

You may know El Bribon as..

BATDOG! ..shhh ..don't tell noone you heard it from Contessa ChiChi.. Rascal is undercover.. as in covert. So, don't blow it for heem ! Zeep de leeps. shhhhh..

Contessa ChiChi hearts FurBro

Ay-yi-yi, mis queridos lectores! Si, I've been away for some time. Ay-yi-yi. Mi hermano, el Bribón, ha estado enfermo. *sigh* Si. My brother, Rascal, has been sick. He had surgery 2 weeks ago to remove some lumps and bumps that coulda been cancer, but then he got seecker and seecker with thees dry hacking coughs and shallow breathing. Then, he got worse so the humanoids had to take heem to the ER for Furkinds. He been there for a coupla days and all this while I's been there for heem. Thees ees my Bro when he is very well. Hees very handsome, si? He holds the record for highest Frisbee jump in Contessa ChiChi's family! He's the famous Rascal. Survived a Copperhead snake strike, too, when he was littler, like a boy. That stupid snake bit my Bro in the face 3 times! I would have smackered that doofus in the chops but he slithered away just like a coward!! His face looked like a balloon. You theenk I'm kidding!? See for yourself, then! (grr..) Mi Bro-by hurt so much for so long. Broked my heart in 2, too! And now, hees hurting again. He has too many troubles now.

1. Congestive heart failure due to advanced mitral value regurgitation.
2. Moderately severe pulmonary hypertension.
3. Decreased left ventricular function.
4. Syncopal episodes associated with heart failure and pulmonary hypertension.

Thees ees my Bro while he was in the Furkind hospital. Dunno 'boutchu, but thees doctors either have crazy idea about healing in outer space - or - hees reely spaced out. See what I mean? Because of all thees excitement with mi brother, I missed a lot of Rafa's matches, but he's so thoughtful and understanding. He said he would have liked to be weeth me through thees ordeal and called me everyday to inquire about mi hermano. Meanwhile, Rafa has just given Spain some breathing room with a 2-0 lead at the Davis Cup tournament in Benidrom. He beat Jarko Tipsarevic in 3 sets, 6-1, 6-0, 6-2 at "Terra Mitica" park for his home fans! He put Tipsarevic away in little more than an hour and a half. You go, Rafa! Vamos Rafa! Rafa, you win for Spain and I'll win for el Bribón! Y buena suerte a ambos de nosotros!!

I'm inconsolable *sob* Loss is always difficult

I.. I.. I just.. I'm having trouble finding the words to express the loss.. of dear *sob* Loki! Such a beautiful friend of all Chis everywhere. My own heart goes out to Mickey Rourke with love and sadness over the loss of his beloved companion, Loki. Look at that face. That is a face that begs to be licked. Si. Smothered in licks and slobber. If only for the reason Loki is Chi, si? Let me just tell you, Chis are the best* of all furkinds. Chis are: Alert a la "Contessa ChiChi" "Peanut"-sized Graceful Swift-moving Saucy Observant Bold Adorable Spunky Protective Mischievous Social High-strung Endowed with unique personalities (heh heh - not a chi) Intelligent Loyal Moody Playful Arrogant Sweet-tempered Quintessential Furkind *[The very best of all furkinds are Rat Terriers for which I have been blessed to have in my blood line *sniff,sniff*] So Mickey, please accept my heart-felt condolences over your loss of your Beloved Loki. You can find much comfort in knowing that you gave her the best life she could possibly have on earth by your constant love, care, and kindness, not only towards her, but all her furfriends as well! Says Rourke: "Loki is deeply missed but with me in spirit. I feel very blessed that she fell asleep peacefully in my arms." My Rafa suffered a loss, too, when he lost his last match to Murray, but this loss pales in comparison to Rourke losing his Loki. For me, reverence for all living creatures will always surpass the loss of a game. I can't speak for Rafa personally, but this man Rafa doesn't even like bull fights, one of his country's sports, so I think in my heart he would agree with me. Rafa can always make up for his lost match. We can never 'make up' for loss of Life. Truth. But, theese ees just Contessa ChiChi telling it like it is. Mwah, mwah. [That's licks to you humanoids, k? hee hee] Now - for something sweet: Farewell, Loki.. We will miss you, simpatico!